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moxdon
 how do You scrounge up enough passion to go back to work after a miserable day.
shit.
i am not feeling very well about this job. I question if it's right for me on days like this for sure.
But obvously I am not giving up yet. I am waiting a little longer. 
oh and the house is wreck and im sitting on the computer. again. what has happened to me? I once again have tthat "too far in". I can clean little messes up all day long. But when its so nasty, it keeps me far away.

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moxdon
why doesn't money grow on trees?

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im sneaking on the computer again while the bosses are at lunch. HEY! I gotta keep myself busy somehow. If I had work to do I would be more than happy to do it. But...I DONT!
I did telemarketing for an hour today! I got one apt scheduled! YIPPE FUCKING DO! I was kind of shocked to even get that one. I am prob going to do it for another 30 mins this afternoon and hopefully that will be the last time I ever do it. I really really really hope so. I got all hot and red faced when I was talking to my boss about it last night. I started to get teary eyed. I had a bad day yesterday! I held those damn tears in. No need to cry on the job after i've only been here for 6 weeks. that would be interesting! I know hes not stupid and could tell I was upset about doing it so I think they are hiring someone else. AMEN! She had the flu this week...how convienent! she needs to take somes meds and suck it up if you ask me:)
We bought our bridesmaids dresses last night. We all got different ones. Mines pretty flattering. esp considering how large my ass is! I got it in a size 16! yay! At julie's wedding I was 40 lbs lighter and I had to get an 18! I was horrified! Hopefully I will be in a 14 by the time andreas wedding rolls around. ALTERATIONS...here I come. I had pizza yesterday. But I am back on the wagon today. I feel so good when I am losing and pizza is not worth it. I think I might go to the grocery tonight so that will be better. Although I don't hardly have the money to buy the groceries. i love being dirt poor. it makes me crazy. and mean. and rude. and crabby. and hungry. I thought we could make up the difference in my lack of working 10 more hours bc of dons working...but apparently we got behind somewhere along the line. He is working MORE than those 10 hours we need to make full time but i dont know. The GI Bill also screwed us so we will feel rich when we finally get that.
anyway..i gg act like im doing something while they were gone.

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I had a relatively good day at work. It went pretty fast. Actually, the whole day AND night did. But I always say ONE LESS DAY OF WORKING AND ONE LESS DAY BEFORE I CAN HAVE ANOTHER BABY AND ONE LESS DAY OF SCHOOL FOR DON! Im always looking for one less day, except....when it comes to Evan! I want ten million days with him. I dont even want him as a teenager:) ha ha! Im sure he'll be a good boy. at least I will do my damdest to try.
Nathan is screaming bloody murder right now. he was being so cute and puppy dog eyed tonight. He was getting tired and throwing tantrums and I got to sick back and laugh.(silently) it was so hilarious. He hauled off and hit kelly in the face with a little people. She got mad and "yelled" at him and he hauled off and smacked her again. Then started smacking his toy and eventually though himself on the ground because he got yelled at. It was comical. He's already good at throwing the tantrums too. Im sure he learns some things from evan. But Evan doesnt really throw himself on the floor so thats all Nate.
Me and Kelly are learning all about this Super Tuesday thing. It's spoken about in such foreign terms that we had no idea what it was until we did a little research about it. kind of embarassing but I bet not many of you people know what its about either:)  Hillary Clinton won like 5 or more states! I actually am shocked!

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 my body is craving scrapbooking. seriously bad. I am about to die. But I cant possibly think of a time when I have the time to lug it all upstairs, do something productive, and then lug it back down.
I got my cutterbug for christmas and I see it everyday..haunting me.
This week I start the schedule of T,W, R, Sat. So we should see how this goes. Im sure i will still hate it. Esp since it will be the first week of 4 days. im sooooo fucking spoiled! And I KNOW hes going to have me calling people again. and I think I might lie. and here is ANOTHER reason to NOT have a job...it makes me want to lie. and thats not being very christianly:)
I need to sleep.
goodnight.

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We're taking Evan to the circus!!! I am so excited. Its not until the end of Feb, right after his birthday. But I am so excited. I am excited for myself seperatley, for don seperately and for evan too. I hope I can bring a camera to at least take a pic of Evan AT the circus. And we got discount tickets which is always nice:) I think my mom is buying them for Evans gift. Or my grandma!
Today is Abraham's 16th Bday! wow! he's turning into a man now. he's  a wonderful person, loves all the kids, and has a good heart. I can't wait to see what kind of person he becomes. And now its time to get the temps! yeeks! He's been driving tractors and quads since he was prob 7 so Im pretty sure he'll be ok.
Work went pretty fast yesterday! so that was nice. I wish I could play on the internet and not be worried bc I had like a half hour where I was doing nothing. I made a list of invites for evans bday. and cleaned the office and then sat there. trying to look busy! I am dreading Tuesday bc I KNOW hes going to make me do more telemarketing calls.
ok evans begging for me to show him thomas videos online. his wish is my command!

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at work on sat. shit!

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moxdon

I lost another pound! I am up to 15!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sooo excited.
I almost screeched with excitment when I stepped on that scale today!
I haven't been this low in a long time and it feels great.
I even turned down eating a doughnut this morning bc it felt so good seeing another pound drop away!
I am motivated and keeping up with it.
next wednesday we are going to buy out bridesmaid dresses so Im trying hard this week to lose a few more.
Hopefully I can get a tight size and then have it altered when it comes back and I am even skinnier:)


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I was bored watching Evan take a bath so I brought in the lap top. Before I even totally sat down on the stool with it he splashed it majorly. I started "yelling" at him for splashing and I said "THAT MAKES ME REALLY MAD!" and Evan says "NO it doesn't. It makes you happy!" And I said "no, it makes me MAD!." he said "No it makes you happy, and dada happy, and me happy, and nathan happy!"
I guess I am wrong if everyone else is happy about this splashing thing.

Earlier today I told Evan that He was hurting me and he said "NO IM NOT. IM MAKING YOU FEEL BETTER"
apparently I lie a lot.

we went to T.O today and met Heather and Brady there. We weren't with them the whole time. it seemed as though the boys wanted to play at total opposite things. So we got to chat a little. but we had a really good day. The hardest part was getting them out of the damn toy store part.

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moxdon
AHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I started doing telemarketing today!
I would rather be shot in the knee I think.
It sucks.
Most people have accountants already and cut me off before I can say my whole entire stupid speech. And then I get flustered and don't know how to react half the time and I am fumbling around for the paper on what to say next. and then I am waering a headset which is really screwing up my already bad hair and then the other line rings for the main phone line and I don't know how to answer it with this headphone on and I push three buttons and by that time the boss picked it up. I WANTED that call. One less minute of telemarketing:)
I got ONE lady who is really interested and I have to call her back next week. damn! I do get $25 if they come in for an apt!! That would be nice but probably not likely with my skills.
I think I am going to cheat the lunch system today and take a 45 min lunch without informing the bosses. they are always at lunch when I go on lunch so they have no clue how long or short i've been on lunch. does that make sense? well, actually. it doesnt have to because now I am going to take a realy nice long lunch and meditate or something. and pray that I will not have to make any more calls today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
at least I am off for the next two days after today!!! 
half way done with today!

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